Doodle I never quite managed to finish :(
old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on
then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources
LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH
WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS
I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT
FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING
THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS
rub me on your body
ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT
IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF
I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.
i’m so fucked up
AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE
I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.
IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER
0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN
I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.
This post is my life force
note to self: make an audio post of this
when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank
they’re married now
WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE BEEN ON 8 HOUR GIGS AND PRACTICING TO START ALEXIS MASTERSON FASHION SHOWS AND I DIDNT GO ON A DATE WITH YOU FOR ONE FUCKING DAY BECAUSE I WENT ON 5 GIGS IN LAS VEGAS AND LA AND PUNTA FUCKING MITA AND SOHO AND YOU PULL ME WITH THIS SHIT? I WAS OVER HALFWAY THROUGH TO BEING YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND IF YOU FUCKING THINK I AM SPENDING HALF OF MY CHARMS TO PLEASE YOUR B-LISTING ASSHOLE THEN YOU SHOULD GO TO THOSE UGLY ASS CAMO PANTS YOU WEAR ALL THE FUCKING TIME THAT SHOULD BE STUCK UP YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ANUS AND STICK THEM RIGHT IN THE HEART OF YOUR FAILING CAREER I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST THING YOU EVER HAD, FUCK YOU GABRIEL MY OUTFITS ARE FUCKING HOT YOU JUST ACT YOU’RE TIMMY FUCKING TURNER AND WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT EVERY DATE THEN ASK WHY I’M NOT EVEN TRYING IN MY 2000$ OUTFIT ALL MY MANAGERS FUCKING ADORE YOU NEVER MADE ME FEEL LIKE THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD EITHER WAY, CUNT
you know how in some movies the bride/groom calls off the wedding to be with the person they truly love and then they live happily ever after well it’s pretty shitty that the person they were getting married to doesn’t actually get a happy ending but no one seems to care about it to the point that he/she is not even mentioned afterwards as if that person didn’t exist or had feelings at all yeah just a thought
This is Scarlett Johansson at a beach in Hawaii.
She is one of the most gorgeous women in the world and a huge sex symbol. She isn’t totally skinny, she only has a thigh gap if she stands with her legs apart and she has cellulite and stretch marks on her thighs and butt. Does she give a fuck? No!
Regardless of all this, she’s absolutely gorgeous. There’s nothing wrong with cellulite, or stretch marks, or not having a perfectly flat stomach, you are beautiful and these things are normal.
I just wanted you all to see somebody who isn’t “perfect”, is still incredibly beautiful and doesn’t care about her stretch marks.
This legitimately just made me feel 1,000x better. I am a perfectionist about every aspect of my life, and sometimes it’s hard for me to recognize that nobody is or can be perfect.
I’m pretty sure I have reblogged this before but I just love this so much. Scarlett is one of my favorite women of all time.
the game is evolving too quickly
#HEY GUESS WHAT #I’M REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN #AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME #BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST BRILLIANT OF MOMENTS #I WANT TO SEE THE SCRIPT NOTES FOR THIS SCENE #DID THEY SIMPLY SAY [LIZZIE TOUCHES DARCY’S SHOULDER] [DARCY REACTS TO TOUCH] #AND DANIEL JUST WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND WITH IT?#OR WHAT? #BECAUSE IF I WAS WRITING THAT DAMN SCRIPT #IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE #[LIZZIE PURPOSELY TOUCHES DARCY’S SHOULDER TO SUBTLY TELL HIM THAT SHE WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO DO HIM ON THE COUCH] #[DARCY REACTS AS IF GOD HERSELF HAS DESCENDED FROM THE HEAVENS TO BLESS HIS ENTIRE BEING WITH A SINGLE TOUCH OF HER HOLY HAND] #IT’S JUST SO WELL DONE YOU GUYS THIS TINY TINY MOMENT #I WILL NEVER EVER GET OVER DANIEL’S ACTING HERE #LITERALLY FOUR SECOND OF REACTION #AND HE WAS ABLE TO CONVEY ALL OF THE EMOTIONS TUMBLING AROUND IN DARCY’S HEAD AFTER THAT TOUCH #EXCITEMENT AND SADNESS AND HOPE AND LONGING AND LOVE #WITH A MOTHERFUCKING BLINK OF THE EYES AND A SLIGHT HEAD MOVEMENT #FUCKING WITCHCRAFT MAN (via intoyoursunlight)
Immigrants. First generation.
Manueluv and I are convinced Agent K is Coulson’s father. Hell, MIB is even owned by Marvel.
Welp. Never gonna unsee this.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED SO FAST I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING
Guys - who do you think told Phil all those stories about Cap?
THIS POST IS OVER 2 YEARS OLD AND IT JUST. GOT. BETTER.