Oh, I'm a sham. Years of academy training wasted. -Buzz Lightyear



22 minutes ago with 7983 notes Reblog / via / source

dreamsoffools:

Doodle I never quite managed to finish :(

tagged as: httyd2;  



23 minutes ago with 23745 notes Reblog / via / source
"At what point do you take girls out of school altogether because boys can’t handle it?"

Parent of a female teen whose school banned leggings

#yesallwomen have a right to an education without fashion policing by sexist administrators

(via meetingsinthedesert)




23 minutes ago with 118956 notes Reblog / via / source

blackfemalepresident:

old ass ppl talk shit about my generation until they accidentally disable their wifi and cant figure out how to turn it back on

then im suddenly the mastermind of information & resources




23 minutes ago with 368258 notes Reblog / via / source

iamtonysexual:

horus-zahak:

biggggblack:

aaamaaazooon:

LET’S DO A REVIEW OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH

WE GOT THIS SHIT AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT THANKS TO BERRY-SCENTED TUMBLR USER JENNYLOGGINS

I AM A HULKING, BURLY, MASCULINE MAN, SO USUALLY I USE OLD SPICE OR IRISH SPRING OR SOME MANLY SHIT LIKE THAT BUT TODAY I WAS OUT OF SOAP SO I USED THIS SHIT

FIRST OFF LET’S START WITH THE PACKAGING

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THIS FUCKING RAINBOW-ASS UNICORN IS THERE IN THE SHOWER EVERY DAY, EVERY FUCKING DAY THIS LITTLE FAGGOT SITS THERE AND GIVES ME THAT SULTRY GAZE WHILE IM TRYING TO CLEAN MY VULNERABLE NAKED ASS

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rub me on your body

ALSO IT’S WORTH NOTING THAT THIS SHIT COMES WITH A WARNING NOT ONLY TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN BUT THAT PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN CAN GIVE YOU RASHES AND PROBABLY UNICORN HERPES OR SOME OTHER SHIT

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IDK ABOUT YALL BUT LAST I CHECKED THE EXACT PURPOSE OF BODY WASH IS PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO YOUR SKIN SO THAT RIGHT THERE WAS A RED FLAG BUT I PROCEEDED, ALBEIT WITH PROPER PRECAUTION AS TO AVOID APPLYING AROUND MY EYES AS DIRECTED BY THE PACKAGING OF LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. ALSO IT SAYS TO KEEP IT OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THEY ARE MARKETING THIS PRODUCT NOT FOR CHILDREN BUT FOR GROWN MEN SUCH AS MYSELF

I APPLIED A GENEROUS AMOUNT TO MY HANDS TO BEGIN THE CLEANING.

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i’m so fucked up

AND THAT WAS WHEN THE MOST POTENT SMELL OF ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORED BERRY I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE

I NEARLY FELL OVER IN THE SHOWER. IT WAS SO FUCKING BERRY. IT WAS LIKE I MADE SWEET LOVE TO AN ANTHROPOMORPHIC BERRY WOMAN AND DOVE NOSE-FIRST INTO HER GUSHING FRUITY LOINS. THERE WAS NO FURTHER DOUBT THAT THIS WAS INDEED LISA FRANK© BRAND BERRY-SCENTED BODY WASH. IT’S NO WONDER LISA FRANK’S ART IS ALL SO COLORFUL, SHE’S FUCKING HIGH AS BALLS HUFFING HER BERRY-ASS BODY WASH.

IT GOT ME CLEAN BUT I HAVE A HEADACHE FROM ALL THAT FUCKING BERRY. I UNDERSTAND THE WARNING LABEL NOW. THIS SHIT IS PROBABLY TOXIC TO SMALL CHILDREN, IT’LL BERRY THEIR FUCKING BRAIN CELLS TO DEATH. DO NOT TRUST THAT SULTRY UNICORN. YOU SEE THE MILKY WHITE COLOR IT’S PROBABLY HIS SPOOGE IN THAT BOTTLE IT’S NOT EVEN BODY WASH I JUST CLEANED MYSELF WITH BUBBLY BERRY UNICORN BATTER

0/10 WOULD NOT BERRY AGAIN

I FUCKING AM CHOKING AND PEEING AND DYING OF LAUGHTER I JUST FUCKING CAN’T RIGHT NOW. PLEASE REVIVE ME SWEET LORD.

This post is my life force

note to self: make an audio post of this




26 minutes ago with 36132 notes Reblog / via / source

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now




27 minutes ago with 6392 notes Reblog / via / source
tagged as: divergent;  



28 minutes ago with 555 notes Reblog / via / source

saturnsbabygirl:

WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE BEEN ON 8 HOUR GIGS AND PRACTICING TO START ALEXIS MASTERSON FASHION SHOWS AND I DIDNT GO ON A DATE WITH YOU FOR ONE FUCKING DAY BECAUSE I WENT ON 5 GIGS IN LAS VEGAS AND LA AND PUNTA FUCKING MITA AND SOHO AND YOU PULL ME WITH THIS SHIT? I WAS OVER HALFWAY THROUGH TO BEING YOUR GIRLFRIEND AND IF YOU FUCKING THINK I AM SPENDING HALF OF MY CHARMS TO PLEASE YOUR B-LISTING ASSHOLE THEN YOU SHOULD GO TO THOSE UGLY ASS CAMO PANTS YOU WEAR ALL THE FUCKING TIME THAT SHOULD BE STUCK UP YOUR GRANDMOTHERS ANUS AND STICK THEM RIGHT IN THE HEART OF YOUR FAILING CAREER I WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST THING YOU EVER HAD, FUCK YOU GABRIEL MY OUTFITS ARE FUCKING HOT YOU JUST ACT YOU’RE TIMMY FUCKING TURNER AND WEAR THE SAME OUTFIT EVERY DATE THEN ASK WHY I’M NOT EVEN TRYING IN MY 2000$ OUTFIT ALL MY MANAGERS FUCKING ADORE YOU NEVER MADE ME FEEL LIKE THE ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD EITHER WAY, CUNT




1 hour ago with 63041 notes Reblog / via / source

prevalere:

you know how in some movies the bride/groom calls off the wedding to be with the person they truly love and then they live happily ever after well it’s pretty shitty that the person they were getting married to doesn’t actually get a happy ending but no one seems to care about it to the point that he/she is not even mentioned afterwards as if that person didn’t exist or had feelings at all yeah just a thought




10 hours ago with 185394 notes Reblog / via / source

strongerquickerbetter:

fit-foot-forward:

This is Scarlett Johansson at a beach in Hawaii.

She is one of the most gorgeous women in the world and a huge sex symbol. She isn’t totally skinny, she only has a thigh gap if she stands with her legs apart and she has cellulite and stretch marks on her thighs and butt. Does she give a fuck? No!

Regardless of all this, she’s absolutely gorgeous. There’s nothing wrong with cellulite, or stretch marks, or not having a perfectly flat stomach, you are beautiful and these things are normal. 

I just wanted you all to see somebody who isn’t “perfect”, is still incredibly beautiful and doesn’t care about her stretch marks.

This legitimately just made me feel 1,000x better. I am a perfectionist about every aspect of my life, and sometimes it’s hard for me to recognize that nobody is or can be perfect.

I’m pretty sure I have reblogged this before but I just love this so much. Scarlett is one of my favorite women of all time. 




10 hours ago with 64973 notes Reblog / via / source

robertshmurder:

the game is evolving too quickly




10 hours ago with 2515 notes Reblog / via / source

janeaustenapproved:

#HEY GUESS WHAT #I’M REBLOGGING THIS AGAIN #AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME #BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST BRILLIANT OF MOMENTS #I WANT TO SEE THE SCRIPT NOTES FOR THIS SCENE #DID THEY SIMPLY SAY [LIZZIE TOUCHES DARCY’S SHOULDER] [DARCY REACTS TO TOUCH] #AND DANIEL JUST WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND WITH IT?#OR WHAT? #BECAUSE IF I WAS WRITING THAT DAMN SCRIPT #IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED LIKE #[LIZZIE PURPOSELY TOUCHES DARCY’S SHOULDER TO SUBTLY TELL HIM THAT SHE WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE TO DO HIM ON THE COUCH] #[DARCY REACTS AS IF GOD HERSELF HAS DESCENDED FROM THE HEAVENS TO BLESS HIS ENTIRE BEING WITH A SINGLE TOUCH OF HER HOLY HAND] #IT’S JUST SO WELL DONE YOU GUYS THIS TINY TINY MOMENT #I WILL NEVER EVER GET OVER DANIEL’S ACTING HERE #LITERALLY FOUR SECOND OF REACTION #AND HE WAS ABLE TO CONVEY ALL OF THE EMOTIONS TUMBLING AROUND IN DARCY’S HEAD AFTER THAT TOUCH #EXCITEMENT AND SADNESS AND HOPE AND LONGING AND LOVE #WITH A MOTHERFUCKING BLINK OF THE EYES AND A SLIGHT HEAD MOVEMENT #FUCKING WITCHCRAFT MAN (via intoyoursunlight)




10 hours ago with 23319 notes Reblog / via / source
"Here’s to the security guards who maybe had a degree in another land. Here’s to the manicurist who had to leave her family to come here, painting the nails, scrubbing the feet of strangers. Here’s to the janitors who don’t even fucking understand English yet work hard despite it all. Here’s to the fast food workers who work hard to see their family smile. Here’s to the laundry man at the Marriott who told me with the sparkle in his eyes how he was an engineer in Peru. Here’s to the bus driver, the Turkish Sufi who almost danced when I quoted Rumi. Here’s to the harvesters who live in fear of being deported for coming here to open the road for their future generation. Here’s to the taxi drivers from Nigeria, Ghana, Egypt and India who gossip amongst themselves. Here is to them waking up at 4am, calling home to hear the voices of their loved ones. Here is to their children, to the children who despite it all become artists, writers, teachers, doctors, lawyers, activists and rebels. Here’s to Western Union and Money Gram. For never forgetting home. Here’s to their children who carry the heartbeats of their motherland and even in sleep, speak with pride about their fathers. Keep on."

Immigrants. First generation.


Ijeoma Umebinyuo.

(via theijeoma)




10 hours ago with 219485 notes Reblog / via / source

australianpikachu:

australianpikachu:

*leaves facebook forever*

image




10 hours ago with 221986 notes Reblog / via 

hellotailor:

mrv3000:

i’ve probably reblogged this multiple times but by god i’ll do it again.




11 hours ago with 194718 notes Reblog / via / source

gazzymouse:

too-cool-for-facebook:

crankystalfos:

jackiemakescomics:

captaintsundere:

authormichals:

Manueluv and I are convinced Agent K is Coulson’s father. Hell, MIB is even owned by Marvel. 

Welp. Never gonna unsee this.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiit

HEADCANON ACCEPTED SO FAST I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING

Guys - who do you think told Phil all those stories about Cap?

THIS POST IS OVER 2 YEARS OLD AND IT JUST. GOT. BETTER.

tagged as: ca;  Avengers;  marvel;  

© JASONDILAURENTS